creativity

it's been brewing for awhile now. i think i first got the inkling of it back in 2001. it was really there all along. as a little girl making up stories for my barbies and drawing, drawing, drawing and telling myself stories about the drawings. the run away imagination that got me in some trouble at school. a daydreamer i was and am and ever shall be. coloring. colors. photographs. old photographs. reading. traveling to distant lands with the turn of a page. days spent pouring over books at the library. nights huddled in the darkness straining to read by the street light outside my window. making tapes of myself doing radio shows. cooking. reading cookbooks. craft books. listening to music and getting lost in it. cake decorating books. martha stewart books before she was a corporation. watching cooking shows. dreaming about the cooking show i would have some day. acting. in one act plays, in skits at church, in dress up clothes in my bedroom and on my front porch. painting. water colors. making ginger bread houses and christmas ornaments and spending hours wrapping gifts. writing stories of our adventures at cornerstone. playing with makeup. doodling everywhere. journaling. more dreaming. taking pictures. making collages. taking trips to the museum. loving colors.

so where did i get the idea that i was more of a business person and should take that path with jobs? maybe it was the apathetic art teacher who made me wonder why i kept taking art year after year in high school. maybe it was the marketing class and winning a deca award and unrealistic ideas of the advertising world. maybe it was neccessity and having to take jobs to pay the bills. maybe i thought if i couldn't create any art or sing or play an instrument then maybe i would work behind the scenes. in radio. in the music business. at an advertising agency. at a cement company. at the grocery store. waiting tables. moderating message boards. at the bank. in telemarketing.

so for a long time i felt like a square peg in a round hole. wondering why i don't fit in the business world. wondering why i get so burned out and can't just go with the flow. i started to realize it slowly and i've spent alot of frustrating days in between. other people have even told me. i need to do something creative. that is where i thrive.

but how? how when you have to make money to pay the bills. i don't regret a single step that lead me to where i am today. how though? how when the 9-5 sucks all your energy and time?

all i know is this. i love taking pictures and i love telling stories. this little old blog has been sorely neglected but a new day is coming. sure i've said it before and maybe i will say it again......but it's coming. it has to. i want to see the beauty in the everyday and share it with you. i want to show ways you can live beautifully without a beautiful budget. i've started taking more pictures and soon i'll start to let a few people here and there know that if they want me to take pictures i'll be available and i'll try to help folks out that can't afford an expensive photographer. and i'll keep writing and looking for beauty in the everyday. and i'll try to do those things i love again like drawing and painting and cooking and decorating cakes and experimenting with color.

so we'll see what happens. even if no one else ever reads this blog or sees any of it, i'm so excited to begin again.